101 Deep Questions to Ask Yourself if You’re Not Happy
If you woke up this morning and you’re not happy then it may be time for some serious soul searching, and it all starts with asking yourself some deep questions.
Not just your generic, “are you happy?” questions, but meaningful questions that get right to the heart of the matter of why you are not happy. We all need some enlightenment to help guide our way to a better future.
When you’re stuck in place, I like to refer to this as the “hamster wheel” of life, I’m sure leaping off the wheel seems terrifying, yet staying in the wheel defines insanity.
Not a very fun place to be. Between plummeting to a potential doom or going crazy doing the same things every day expecting it will make you happier.
There are dozens of influential factors that cause you to not be happy. A bad job, a bad marriage, financial woes, the list goes on and on.
But this list isn’t about them. It is about you. It is about discovering a little more about who you are and what you want out of your life.
It is about self-exploration, opening up old wounds and then healing them.
Sure it’s easy to say I am not happy because I do not have enough money and I only will be happy if I get more… what if you (gasp) never get more money? Are you going to be content with being unhappy for the rest of your life?
Even if your goals get met or not for your life, you still have to live it. So why not live it happier?
Some of the best advice I’ve heard throughout my life is that happiness depends on you. No object, person, or idea is going to provide that for you. You must bring happiness from within.
Wealth doesn’t bring happiness, happiness brings wealth.
Marriage doesn’t bring happiness, happiness creates good marriages.
I myself have been a little nervous to write this article because I knew that I would ask these questions to myself.
That seems a little scary, a little vulnerable, and makes me nervous to have to face these deep questions.
At the same time, I’m also excited to see how my subconscious has clouded my ability to just simply be happier!
I’ll let you know at the very end of this article of anything eye-opening I figured out about myself, as I’m sure there will be a few things!
My biggest suggestion to you is to print out the free list below and write down your truths!
We answer questions in our minds all the time but to say them out loud or pour them out on paper can really help you dive into the more truthful and real responses you need to know.
Are you ready?
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01 | What did you see for your future right out of high school?
02 | What activity brings you the most joy?
03 | What activity brings you the least amount of joy?
04 | Which person in your life can you be 100% yourself with?
05 | Which person in your life makes you act like someone else?
06 | If you could switch your life with someone else would you and why?
07 | What is/was your dream job?
08 | If you could change your job would you and why?
09 | Are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life?
10 | What is the most satisfying thing about your job?
11 | If you could go back to school to pursue something different would you?
12 | What is your favorite quote and why?
13 | What is the best advice anyone has ever given you?
14 | Which holiday is your favorite and why?
15 | What do you love the most about your body physically?
16 | What do you love the most about your personality?
17 | If you could take a small weekend getaway this year where would it be and describe what you would want to do when you’re there.
18 | If you could take a lavish two-week vacation this year where would it be and describe what you would want to do when you’re there.
19 | What event are you most looking forward to this year and why?
20 | Which event are you dreading this year and why?
21 | If you could interview all of your past employers what positive things would they say about you?
22 | If you could interview all of your past employers what negative things would they say about you and would you agree with their descriptions?
23 | Describe your dream home in detail.
24 | Describe your perfect day.
25 | How many days a week do you feel happiness?
26 | Name the things that overwhelm you regularly?
27 | Are there any overwhelming things you do regularly that could be changed somehow; given to someone else or removed altogether?
28 | Name one outdoor activity you enjoy the most?
29 | Who do you go to for advice and do they help?
30 | Name someone you wish you could talk to more about things?
31 | Is there something you wish you learned but never did, what was it?
32 | What are your secret talents?
33 | Name 5 things you are thankful for.
34 | Name a time you felt the most attractive.
35 | Do you feel like people listen to you when you talk?
36 | Could you be a better listener for others?
37 | Who comes to you for advice or guidance? Do you feel you’re helpful when they do?
38 | Name of selfless act you performed lately.
39 | If you could paint your walls any color what would it be?
40 | What can people always expect from you, day in and day out?
41 | Do you often daydream of a different life? What does that dream look like?
42 | Name one thing you wish you could do in your lifetime.
43 | Now write out a plan of how you could actually accomplish the goal from question 42.
44 | How important is having a life balance for you?
45 | Prioritize what are the most important things in your life.
46 | When you start to feel anxious or overwhelmed what is the first thing you start doing that starts to make it feel better?
47 | When you are starting to feel sad or depressed what is the first thing you start doing that starts to make it feel better?
48 | If you could add one thing to your daily routine what would it be and why?
49 | If money was no problem what luxurious self-care thing would you want to do?
50 | If you could give your 18-year-old self advice what would it be?
What to Do When You Feel Burnt Out From Life
51 | What advice do you think you would be giving yourself today ten years from now?
52 | What is your greatest fear and why?
53 | Have you even enjoyed your own company before?
54 | How many real friends do you have right now in your life?
55 | If you do not have many friends what would change if you did?
56 | When was the last time you complimented someone and what did you say?
57 | How do you feel when you receive a compliment and why?
58 | How often do you talk negatively on a given day about anything?
59 | What would your life look like if you stopped talking negativity?
60 | Do you still have anger towards people that have wronged you in the past?
61 | What would you say to the person(s) that wronged you today if there were no repercussions?
62 | Have you wronged anyone in your life?
63 | What would you say the person(s) that you wronged?
64 | What is the biggest achievement you have ever gotten in your life?
65 | What is the next biggest achievement you would like to see happen in your life?
66 | Name 10 fun things you like to do that require no money.
67 | Name a place or activity on your hometown you have never been able to visit/participate in but would like to.
68 | What do you wish your partner would change about themselves?
69 | What do you think your partner wishes you would change about yourself?
70 | Are you willing to make the changes in question 69?
71 | Who would you become if you knew you could not fail?
72 | How do you define success?
73 | Do the people you care about the most know how much you care about them?
74 | What is the worst thing that could happen if you try something outside of your comfort zone?
75 | Do your loved ones understand clearly what’s happening when you suffer from anxiety and or depression? How do you describe it to them? Do they know what you need? Do you know what they need?
76 | Are you in control of your life? Why or why not?
77 | Can you make decisions on your own?
78 | What have you accomplished within the last year?
79 | When payday hits what do you like to spend your money on?
80 | Name something most people do not know about you?
81 | What is your most cherished childhood memory and why?
82 | How long have you been holding onto anger about something from your past?
83 | What is holding you back from making a big change in your life?
84 | Name three solutions for how to overcome what’s holding you back in question 83.
85 | Do you think feeling unhappy is ok or not ok? Why?
85 | Do you think feeling happy when others are not is ok or not ok? Why?
86 | If you could buy a complete replacement wardrobe, would you change your style? If so what type of style would you go for?
87 | If you were suddenly single and ready to create a new life for yourself what would you change?
88 | If you could re-marry your spouse would you?
89 | Are you a glass half empty or full person and why?
90 | Name a red-flag you are ignoring in your life.
91 | How would you rate your stress level from 1-10 and why?
92 | Name how you cope with your stress and does it work? If it doesn’t name three ways you could cope better with your stress.
93 | Do you believe that people get “do-overs” at any age in their life? Why or why not?
94 | If your job was secure would you leave for a year-long road trip?
95 | What are your top excuses when you get out of plans?
96 | What is the worst thing that can happen if you follow through with plans?
97 | Do you feel you have the capability for real change in your life? Why or why not?
98 | What would happen to others around you if you started to make positive changes in your life?
99 | Have you ever accomplished your “new year resolutions” or any other goals you made for yourself? If you did, how did it feel? If you didn’t, how does that make you feel?
100 | Are you proud of the person you are today? Why or why not?
101 | What change are you going to make right now that will lead you to a happier life?
Wow, what an eye-opening experience to answer all of these questions. I was very surprised by some of my own responses. You could see there was a reoccurring theme with the majority of my answers that I seem to be craving a more simple life.
So the first change I am going to make right now that will lead me to a happier life is to figure out how I can maybe get an extra day off a week from work. Losing 8 hours a week in pay is difficult but at the same time, I think have three days off could dramatically change my life.
I suffer from depression and anxiety and often find myself not happy…
I also realized I never expressed to anyone what it’s like for me to feel this way, what I need from the loved ones around me, and what I need to start doing for myself when I succumb to depression or anxiety.
Sometimes I get more depressed and anxious because I am concerned that my friends and family are not happy with me because I am this way.
That’s when it hit me that I am living in my own hamster wheel of misery and need to take the plunge to talk more about what’s going on with me with my loved ones so they understand.
I can tell you I know what I’ll be doing soon!
What change are you making today?